Thoughts and Inspirations through the Journey! :)

I have much to praise the Lord for today!  Firstly, for the deliverance I have experienced.  Let me tell you more of the tale…

As I sit here fumbling for the words to type, I realize I have, yet again, been rendered ‘wordless’ by the mighty works of God.  He is I Am, the God of creation, of hope, of life.  He is Rapha Elohim, the God of healing.  I was just reading in Jeremiah 30, where God is telling His people that the wound they bear is incurable.  Nothing can heal them.  A part of me resonates with this as I look back over my life.  The struggle, the sin, the shame…I was too far gone, and there was nothing I felt that could fix what I had become.

Yet there God is, looking at His people and telling them, “But I will heal you.”  God proves Himself to be greater than the nothingness.  And the same has been true in my life.  Back in March, there was a self-inflicted injury to my wrist that I believe could have been fatal…but the very next day when inspecting the damages, I found this wound to be closed.  It was still a cut that would come to heal over time, but it was no longer potentially life-threatening.

Looking at the scar now, it appears to be a slit closed by skin-made stitches.  There is no other explanation outside of the promise that God has made to come and heal.  And at the same time, He has called me to Go and heal… so because I have been rescued and healed of my own iniquities, I must then go and heal the broken.  I am capable to do this because I have been called, and in my calling over time, He has been mending my wounds and breathing forgiveness so that I might know beyond any doubt that healing comes.

Coming out of the celebration of previous posts Awestruck and The Heart’s Praise, I am now able to testify to the mighty works of God behind their words.  Some may call me crazy; others may call me a fanatic.  Whatever.  I have experienced God in ways my faith never thought possible…  Let it be known that God has been faithful!

You see, I have been delivered from many evil spirits.  It has been estimated at least one hundred – if not more – have been released from my body.  And I have never felt so full of excitement and joy.  God has proven His faithfulness through the darkness, to restore me back as a child of the light.  I have the peace of the Holy Spirit, the sort of peace that surpasses understanding.  Glory to our great God forever!   In the name of Jesus Christ and through love, I am now free!

At the mention of deliverance and demonic activity, it’s as though my legs go into a sense of hyperdrive.  Shaking, trembling, and tension spasms occur.  I wasn’t sure what to make of it at first.  Periodically in the month after my deliverance, I would experience this discomfort.  I didn’t want to think too much of it but at the same time, I was a little concerned.  Is it demonic?  Is it healing?  Because of the overwhelming joy I have experienced, I was more taken with the latter idea.  Besides, there wasn’t any area I could think where I still needed freedom!

I sat, asking God, “Why are my legs shaking?”

Flashback to a portion of the prophecy I received… God is pleased with your questioning.  It’s a childlike faith within you…

God, I don’t want this to be demonic.  I know that’s been taken care of.  What then, is this?!  So I got out my Bible and started scanning Scripture for any sort of clue.  Surely God will give me an answer… And as I looked, it seemed to be clear: “But this is the one to whom I will look, to the humble and contrite in spirit, who trembles at my word” (Isaiah 66:2b).   It just makes sense…  I have mentioned within my deliverance team that the area of my Cerebral Palsy has not been ‘healed’ in full because God has chosen to allow it to keep me humble.

It’s a thorn-in-my-flesh sort of ordeal.  But as I know it, it’s all I’ve ever known of my strength and limitations.  Someday I will know a life away from this fallen body and things will be different then.  Until that day, however, God’s promise reigns true: My grace is sufficient for you, my strength made perfect in your weakness.  I have been made free.  The chains have been broken.  Amen, glory be to the God making all things new!

Perhaps the trembling is a sign of things to come; of healing to come.  I don’t know, but I realize it’s a possibility.  In my calling, God has started revealing my ministry of healing.  It’s come in subtle ways, encouraging the idea that the time is near.  Such ways as saying my words of testimony have brought the power of the Holy Spirit resting in the midst of restlessness.  And I know there’s nothing about me that makes that significant, just to know for whatever reason, God has chosen to use me to minister through in the deliverance that I have first received in the name of Jesus Christ.

I’m blown away by the things I have seen.  It’s absolutely incredible to see how God has chosen to move.  He has moved in ways of music, in words, prayers, and prophecy.  I was always the skeptic to half of these things, but at the same time, I have tasted and seen.  And I have been amazed to see God destroy false beliefs within me and tear down the walls of my skepticism.  I am hesitant to believe all I have heard, but the more I walk in my deliverance, the more I am seeing those things played out before my life.

Happiness has overtaken my emotions.  Grateful doesn’t begin to cut it, coming from a place of hatred and bitterness.  Those things are gone, replenished with peace and hope.  I am full of joy, miracles have come to light.  My God is strong.  This comes at a time of remembrance, knowing that this day (Sept. 30) has been one of heaviness and despair for many years as the day I began self-injuring in 2007.  Today, instead, I celebrate.

I am alive, and I am free!  All honor, power, and glory are Yours alone, Lord Jesus!  Amen!